What’s the difference between listening and hearing? Yes, we understand that ‘we hear the music but listen to the lyrics’. We know we are also capable of hearing the voice but not the message. In fact, we humans are so clever at mixing up the meaning of these two excellent verbs, we often are unaware of the lack of attention that we create, even unintentionally. Lack of attention and focus suggests we are not hearing or listening. So, Who’s Talking & Who’s Listening?
-We hear the words and listen to the emotions – Bob Proctor
In Biz-Niz and in our social relations, communication runs smoothly when we listen up and hear good. Keeping both ears open, our mouth closed and our mind open will bring in amazing results. If you ask your friends and colleagues what do they appreciate about a good listener, most people will say these three points.
-Someone who doesn’t interrupt.
-The listener is looking at you, not the phone or another woman or man!
-They give you those all important re-assuring noises like, hmm and uh huh.
And, as we all know, a good listener doesn’t prepare a ready-made answer! Or spend the entire time thinking of a smart response.
So, Who’s Talking & Who’s Listening?
The art of listening includes keeping judgements and criticisms – for another time and another place. Not always easy to do – is it? We often find ourselves switching into selective hearing mode, a la Chinese whispers style! Hearing something with one ear and something completely different with the other ear.
-Hearing is one of the body’s five senses, but listening is an art – Frank Tyger
Many of us suffer from distractions of a technological kind, our ability to concentrate is poor and drifting off into space is common. Recognising that listening is active not passive is a key step forward. In networking situations, this is definitely how you will stand out in a crowd. By asking super cool questions and paying attention actively to the answers will give you some kudos. Let’s face it, we all love attention, especially of the attentive kind! We want to be acknowledged for our contributions, and noticed for our abilities and talents. We want some recognition for our unique strengths and our accomplishments.
-The quieter you become, the more you can hear – Baba Ram Dass
Listening attentively will teach you more about the person or people in front of you than if you do all the talking! Logical, but not applied enough.
Listening means keeping quiet in mind and voice, and just paying a little more attention to the speaker. I often tell myself to listen and not speak, it is an ongoing lesson to learn but very fruitful. Developing your listening skills will help you avoid jumping to conclusions, which is often the cause of conflict and aggression.
-We have two ears and one mouth so we can listen twice as much as we speak – Epictetus
Distractions are often the reason behind poor listening, something I am aware I suffer from too and have written about here: http://www.georgiavarjas.com/557/distractions-of-a-familiar-kind/
If this is something that prevents you from moving forward as a writer or speaker, click on that chat button below and let’s talk.
Learning to listen with attention will lead to better relationships in your Biz-Niz world and social life. Don’t hesitate to hit that button.